Episode 02: Not everyone is meant to be your client | Amanda Bellinger
Amanda Bellinger is a Barber, a Mom, and Creator. She has done an array of things in life and continues to get verified in practices like Shamanism, Marriage Officiant, and death doula and provides tarot and astronomy readings. This former gymnast talks tarot, barbering, motherhood, and mindfulness in our hair stories conversation today. This was an IG Live recording so please excuse any background noise. She has inspired me to start official podcasting after this interview so thank you for listening and being here from the beginning.
DETAILS:
Please follow Amanda on her IG.
Barber shop IG.
Amanda’s Link for all the things.
Mentions:
The Chacana Spiritual Center in Melbourne Florida.
For the time stamps and those with audio impairments; the episode transcript is below. (Thank you for being here)
Transcript:
Chantel: [00:00:00] Hi guys, we are gonna go live with Amanda Bellinger. I wish I had some music. Hi how are you?
Amanda Bellinger: Good? How are you?
Chantel: This is so cool.
Amanda Bellinger: I know I'm excited.
Chantel: It's good to see you. Can you hear me okay?
Amanda Bellinger: I can. .
Chantel: Awesome.
Amanda Bellinger: Is it too bright?
Chantel: I think it's perfect.
Amanda Bellinger: Okay, good. .
Chantel: You got some plants back there.
Amanda Bellinger: Yes. Got quite a few actually, over. This way.
Chantel: Yes. Cute space.
Amanda Bellinger: Thanks.
Chantel: What are we gonna do today? We're gonna talk, a little bit of hair, but [00:01:00] mostly I have a lot of questions about your Shamen apprentice that you're doing. .
Amanda Bellinger: that's cool. .
Chantel: I'm excited.
Amanda Bellinger: Yay.
Chantel: What happened to set you on the course of being a shaman apprenticeship?
Amanda Bellinger: You know, it's actually kind of a funny story because my partner and I - we used to joke about being shaman because we were kind of starting to get to know our spiritual side, this was a couple of years ago. We just had a loose understanding of what that meant to us. We would joke about just bringing people in our home and helping them. Just helping them in ways that we felt society wasn't able to do, without having to go to school for a long time, just to, you know, feel qualified enough to help someone. So there are other ways that you can do that spiritually. And, we ended up separating for a time; I moved out on my own, I was really trying to discover myself.
I got into astrology and Tarot those were my first [00:02:00] two loves. And, in doing that, I discovered a lot about energy and just what energy meant to me. People who work with energy such as Reiki healers - that's actually the first term that I had heard of, was Reiki . I messaged some people that I knew that had just completed a Reiki master's course, and they pointed me into the direction of the spiritual center in shamonic school that I now attend.
It was funny because I messaged The Chacana Spiritual Center. I told them my whole, like I basically over vented my whole spiritual journey story and the owner; Shannon, she messaged me back and sent me a link to their moon I key program, which is the very first set of steps to being initiated into me particular lineage shamanism, which happens to come from Peru. So I originally [00:03:00] asked her about Reiki and she sent me this link to this shaman class. And when I saw the word shaman; it just reminded me of how I used to talk about it. And, it just felt right. So that night I signed up for it.
I've been on this path for. Almost two years now. And, I'll be done in about six, maybe eight ish months, six to eight ish months for about two and a half years, total of study.
Chantel: That's cool. I know you offer some services right now. right. Could you, share that, like say I wanna come to you and I'm like, I don't know anything, but I know you offer this, like you can speak to that.
I would love to know. .
Amanda Bellinger: So right now shamanically, I am just kind of, still in the depths of my apprenticeship. So, right now I'm not offering any shamonic specific things, but I do read Tarot and I do Human Design and Astrology reading. And human design, I'm becoming [00:04:00] much more and more passionate about as I learn about it. As I go on with it, it's kind of becoming my neuro divergent special interest. Where I am just consistently and constantly wanting to learn more and more about it. So that's my most fun thing right now. You can go on my Instagram, I have a link for my barbershop, and if you are local, you can come see me and book an hour reading.
If not, you can message me on Instagram and we can just, we can do zoom or FaceTime. Whatever's convenient for the person that's distant from me. I kind of like to, you know, cater that way. But same kind of applies as just an hour reading. Sometimes it goes over. Sometimes it goes under, but people tell me they are different than anything they've ever done before. And I think it's because I go into like a flow state where I kind of, just bounce off of the energy of the [00:05:00] person and give them what they need, not just a blueprint of everything, where that person might not go home and wanna learn more about it because maybe what I told them was a cookie cutter response for everyone. I really like to go into what people need and become, become kind of a guide in that sense. And then I don't teach you about you. I give you things that you can look up on your own. Of course, we go into a reading flow, but as far as what is included and you can take home are notes from me through out the session so that you can actually look up certain terms that I use and learn more about yourself on your own, because only you can, you can do that. So ..
Chantel: Are there sessions like an hour?
Amanda Bellinger: Mm-hmm . The shortest sessions I have are the Tarot readings, which are about it. Depends. Tarot is funny because Tarot is always going to pull the energy that you bring to it. And it's gonna tell you the answers that [00:06:00] you have inside you already. So it clarifies it validates, and I can do that in about 20 to 30 minutes. It could last an hour. But usually with Tarot I can get it done a little bit faster.
Chantel: Cool.
Amanda Bellinger: So
Chantel: I was so excited. I forgot to introduce you. I think I was like, I did say your name and then I was like, let's dive in. So you are a barber. Yes. And I love your, Your personal page. Right? Cause it has a little bit of like everything you're doing. I think it's, you've opened. And I think that's what I found first. And I was really vibing with that. I was just like, oh, I like this. Like, it's, it's great to see everyone who was just like all the hair stuff going on, but I really like the mix.
That's the first impression I got of you was; I'm loving everything on this persons Instagram page.. Let's speak a little bit about that. So how did you start, when was the first time you cut hair?
Amanda Bellinger: Okay. I think I used to cut some hair from my friends when I was a teenager back in the Emo days when we would have the, the short in the [00:07:00] back and long in the front, just dye blue black. So I think I started there, but I didn't ever see it becoming. My dad actually did hair my whole life and it almost, it didn't turn me off to it. I just, it wasn't interesting to me as a kid. So it was kind of interesting how I came about it and how it took, you know, kind of a lot of years to get to that point.
I ended up working in a call center for eight years before doing this. So it was kind of cool to make that transition. It's been a really long journey. It's cool that you mentioned my page just because when I look back and scroll back, I see like there's almost cringy moments, but there's, there are really moments of my journey, which has been, a mix of everything. I've tried on so many hats and, doing hair, has really been the best thing I've ever decided to do. So I actually never tried doing anything with it [00:08:00] professionally until 2017 when I went into barber school. So I've really done anything since my teens. And then, you know, kind of hit that mark, where I just felt inspired to quit a job I wasn't into anymore and do something more artistic and more myself and in my family.
Chantel: So you, weren't in a barbershop for a long time and you have your own place now.
I feel like there's such a, a standard, like coming out of barbering school or cosmetology school of you need to do it this way and for this many years, you know... we also went through the pandemic and I find so many more people are leaning into, their own spaces. Can you speak to how being in a barber shop, what that was like for you; having your own space?
Amanda Bellinger: So when I graduated barber school, I ended up going to the shop that my instructor happened to own. So I was really. Really the whole way through. I was kind of really lucky [00:09:00] in that I got to have a place to go. And I did have a talent for it in the beginning. I feel like I showed myself and everyone else; I actually like this, I actually enjoy doing this and I'm kind of good at it, you know, for a beginner. It was really cool to move into that, but it was hard it was so hard being in a barber shop that is dominated by men. And just the profession in general is dominated by mostly men. And so coming into that environment was interesting. It was hard. It was challenging. I, I mean, I was scared. At the same time, I also knew what I felt in my my being and in my energy that I knew I was doing what I was supposed to be doing because I liked it and I was good at it. So for me, it was a real big discovery of finding the environment that was going to be, turned me into more successful person and Barber because I think for a lot of us environment [00:10:00] is key and we end up settling. And so I worked in a space for about three years, being uncomfortable. My finances showed that, my finances reflect what was going on internally, and externally from where I was. So now sitting here today and looking back on that, it's really cool to see the change and I'm, you know, I'm living within my means and I'm happy and I'm, I'm really content in the life that I've built for myself. I'm finally at a place where I can pick how I wanna grow. I did that by taking the really scary steps of leaving places and spaces where I was really uncomfortable for a long time, I was just settling and I was comfortable and I had to make that decision. It was so scary. It was so scary and hard, but as it was like, as soon as I took the step, I made room for something else and then it was like the universe or whatever you wanna call it. [00:11:00] Was like, oh, she took the step, hold on. Let's put something in the place, in the space that she made and that's how it felt to me. So I guess I, just really leaned into the just being uncomfortable. So that's kind of what got me here. Now I have the freedom to be a mom and do other things that I like and incorporate my spirituality with my career, which has been also a scary step so..
Chantel: Okay, Amanda, that's a nice segue to a question I wanted to ask. I feel like honoring motherhood is so important, how do you feel motherhood has changed you?
Amanda Bellinger: Ooh, I got chill. Motherhood. Wow. So I became a mom around 23, so I was pretty young. And it changed me, changes everyone, you know? I think I was meant to change anyway. So for me, the changes are just what I'm used to. I, I'm just the type of person that's constantly [00:12:00] transforming.
And sometimes not even intentionally, is just kind of how my life goes. But kids really brought to a special part because they give you a different purpose into discovering who you are. Like for me, the goal of parenting was to discover who I was again, and the inner child that I kind of left behind ..
Chantel: Mm
Amanda Bellinger: Getting to know them so that I could better parent my kids because as adults, we just, we don't relate to kids anymore. And we're trying to make them adults before they're ready, you know, while they're still kids and we have adult expectations on them and, and on their shoulders. So for me, the change was, it helped me change myself and like who I was, it took me a while to get there. I think in the last five years or so, I've gotten really deep in that work. And my kids are 11 and nine. It's definitely been, an interesting ride and there's a lot of people involved. There's a lot of co-parenting involved and I [00:13:00] think that where I'm at now has been a good show of, you know, do what you love and you'll get to a place where your kids can see that and they can also follow in that way.
And of course I'm not perfect. There's gonna be things that they have to unlearn from me. And the society around them. My goal is to just be there for the transitions that they go through. So
Chantel: You sound very mindful, which I feel like parents they can have trouble doing that sometimes…
Amanda Bellinger: That's what my parents. My therapist used to tell me that; you're so mindful and self-aware. You know, that was in the beginning of my therapy and I was, she, she was telling me how mindful aware I was and I'm just like, okay… It just, it gave me what I needed to continue on and, you know, that was a whole other journey, but, it kind of melded in with my spiritual journey, was mental health journey. But , it's been really, really [00:14:00] cool.
Chantel: Amanda. Thank you for sharing that. What advice would you give to somebody coming out of barbering school or cosmetology, who's starting out - from your experience, there's just things you don't know, until you get out there, especially now, right? After the pandemic, right?
Amanda Bellinger: Mm-hmm
Chantel: Maybe the advice that we would've given seven years ago is not the same….
Amanda Bellinger: No hahah
Chantel: Right . So from your experience if one of your kids was like coming out school right now, what you would, would tell them?
Amanda Bellinger: I guess I would say, and especially, these times is there is energetic matches and there is someone there's a client out there for everyone. Okay. And not everyone is meant to be your client. So don't worry about trying to get everyone in your door or whatever your seat, your. Worry more about the energy that you bring to the table, because that will always be matched by whoever is coming into your life, [00:15:00] including Career Wise.
So, that's definitely my best advice is to work on your own energy, figure out how your energy works and how, it best serves you because you . I always say you can't pour from an empty cup so you have to literally fill your cup until it's overflowing, and then you can give that out to everyone else. Thatt is so true in not only relationships and friendships and all that, but in your career. So coming fresh out, just do what you like, do what you want, do what you wanna do. It's really it's so cliche sounding, but you really follow your joy. You end up seeing that reflected in every client that comes to you feels so matched and so aligned.
And now that I've taken the scary steps to get here, I don't have anyone that sits in my chair to this day that I just don't really vibrationally matched well with, or that I can't learn from, or [00:16:00] that they can't learn something from me. It's always some kind of energetic exchange that's really, really awesome, and I don't have to worry about. The stress. So if you don't wanna be stressed, then literally don't stress yourself out. Don't work in spaces and places that don't serve you.
Chantel: Like you're saying, work on the authentic connections.
Amanda Bellinger: Mm-hmm it's hard. It can be hard because we live in society and you know, there's always some kind of mask to where for all of us and I'm, I'm neuro divergent as well. That's a whole subject on its own of just trying to fit in. Don't worry about fitting in. Don't worry about making all the money I literally made. I probably made like, $200 a week or less than, when I started out and it was purely because I was following in other people's footsteps and I was hanging on to a toxic situation that was not serving me. It was not good for me, so those rules apply anywhere you go, [00:17:00] relationships, home life, whatever business, it doesn't matter. And if it doesn't serve you, don't do it.
Chantel: It's great hearing your voice and you speaking to these things. Could you share a little bit about being neuro divergent and a practice, like maybe your number one practice for you. That's been a glue during the past year for you where you're like this, this has been maybe a game changer and I'm so glad I did this.
Amanda Bellinger: Sure. So the biggest thing, and it's been the biggest blessing and the biggest battle because of how the mind can work sometimes. But the biggest thing is meditation. I don't just mean sitting down and trying to erase your thoughts. It's really more of an inner meeting with yourself. I have like a little walk-in closet in my apartment and that's where my little altar is and where I pray and all that; I have my mirror in there and I would sit at my altar and I would literally just,... like how [00:18:00] often do you just stare at yourself and you talk to yourself and you give those affirmations, that's a form of meditation. You don't always have to close your eyes and put your hands here and, you know, sit criss cross apple sauce to come to enlightenment of who you are inside. So meditation has been; like I said, the battle is when you simply don't wanna do it. And when you have ADHD, specifically, it is just so easy to fall off the wagon. I guess part A.) Of that would be meditation, but just simply worry about the commitment and not the consistency. That's something I had to really adopt because if you're committed and you fall off the wagon, you'll get back on when you get back on and that's okay. As opposed to, when you're just worried about consistency, you're gonna punish yourself for falling off the wagon period. So there's no point in doing that. The [00:19:00] the best thing to do would just be to take whatever time it is that your mind or body is telling you to take and then get back on because you're committed.
Not because you're trying to be consistent. So, with meditation, you have to be gentle with yourself. It's all about becoming the observer and once you can observe without attaching an emotion to something that's when your power really comes, becomes tenfold, because you're able to find those very beneficial pauses between the thing that's happening and the trigger that your body feels. So there's a space there, but many of us don't feel that. And I, for so long, I was such a triggered person, just constantly walking around that way. I think that's why I felt like I deserved or wanted to, to stay in safe spaces because it was safe and comfortable. I wouldn't have to expand, but now I know that that's your ego trying to [00:20:00] keep you where you are. Everyone can meditate because meditation isn't what everyone thinks. It's literally just observing, observing without attaching any labels or judgements; labels can be hard, if I'm outside, my mind might be like tree plane, cloud. You can get to a point where you're just kind of looking at it objectively, but that's really hard. So I just say without judgment, that's a pretty cloud or a sad tree or whatever it is, you know, you don't try to put those labels and that literally follows into your life your whole life that just spills out into everything. And then you're finding that you're speaking with people that way. And you're speaking with yourself that way, which is, I think what most of us are guilty of is how do we talk to ourselves every day?
Chantel: Absolutely.
Amanda Bellinger: It's a good place to start if you're just starting out. that's a good place to start. How do you talk to yourself and then work? Day [00:21:00] by day, you know, thought by thought on replacing “you're a dumb ass for spilling that”, Actually lots of people make mistakes or whatever, and you just, you just keep doing that. And it feels really hokey at first and cheesy.
Chantel: That's a good way to change our environment, right? We might not be aware that not only is our head doing that or speaking that. Other people might be talking to us like that. And it's the cycle of we can't control what's around us, but
Amanda Bellinger: mm-hmm.
Chantel: Like you were saying, like changing how we speak to ourselves could be wait a minute, I wouldn't talk to myself like that. How, why am I letting this person now talk to me like that?
Amanda Bellinger: Or sometimes it's so far away from us. We have to go into, wait a minute. I wouldn't let them talk to my friend like that. Cuz sometimes we don't even value ourselves enough to be like, well, I would let them talk to me like that. You know, you don't want that, but more like how would I, how would I respond if this was a friend or family member and someone was, you know, [00:22:00] crossing my boundaries or whatever it is. Sometimes you have to start there. And for me, I had to start there. I had to start there and then it became me, and now it is literally; what is it filling my cup or not, you know, it's very simple now. It doesn't mean it isn't hard, but like I said, it's very worth it. When you get to know that side of yourself, that's more authentic and I'm still working on stuff like boundaries. That's a big one. Cause I think that just comes from all of our childhoods, you know? Those are kinda on the list.
Chantel: It's a good reminder for me. Thank you. . Is there anything you want to share about yourself that you feel like randomly, that you're like, I wanna blur this out. We could do a random thing that many people don't know. We could both do it.
Amanda Bellinger: Sure.
Chantel: Super random. Just for fun. .
Amanda Bellinger: Well lately, I think I'm two are so classes away from being certified as a death doula, which is like a birth [00:23:00] doula, but you apply that to people in their last three to six months of life and you have more spiritual leeway. In fact, it's not even a medical position.
You can work closely with hospice and things like that to kind of get those needs, but it's more of a spiritual journey that you take with the person. And number one, it's a position of being an advocate for them so that they have a voice, even when sometimes they may not have a voice. There's documentation and there's lots of things that, you know, can be brought to the table table in physical form and that, but energetically, you're really just holding space for someone who's about to transition, into whatever it is the next phase is for them that they believe in.
And then that's kind of the third thing is you don't, you just go with what they believe, you kind of again hold space. So that's one thing. I've been working on. I'm really excited. It's been [00:24:00] about, 10 classes, but every biweekly, so every two weeks. So it's been a little bit of a process, but, besides that though, I'm technically certified to marry people and do funeral services. I'm still waiting to do my first one though. So we'll see if that pans out, but I just, I just wanted to have it because I, I feel like so many people, don't get fair representation in those celebrations of life and marriage and death and all of that. That was really important to me to have. And other than that, I, man, there's so many random things that I've so many random hats I've tried on. That's probably the most interesting I'll I'll say that for now, but
Chantel: I'm so glad I asked that question. that was great. I'm like, wow. Yes, that's super cool.
Amanda Bellinger: I like really weird stuff, but ..
Chantel: that's neat. mine's like, like mine's not that interesting. Oh, okay. So maybe like if three people [00:25:00] know, I raced, BMX when I was younger competitively. That's so hard. I was tiny. I was like 11 or 12.
Amanda Bellinger: That's awesome. That's so cool. That's really cool. I honestly, I had so many friends that did extreme sports and I have a pair of roller skates that I haven't used in year because I, that was one of the hats that I tried on, was like getting back into roller skating and I liked it for a while. It just, it just didn't stick. It's so hot here. Especially in the summertime. So I just found myself taking longer and longer breaks, but, that's actually really fun and cool. I was a gymnast for a long time. A competitive gymnast, and just, you know, it gets to a point where you're like, you're either going to the Olympics or you're gonna train for that, or you're not. So, I probably people know that though. I don't know. I did it when I was a kid from like five to middle school. I went up to about level five or six, I think [00:26:00] in competitive gymnastics. When I got into seventh grade, I started becoming a teenager and I just was like, no I don't wanna do that anymore. But it's something that I've been thinking about lately because when you work with your inner child, you kind of wonder what they were into. And she, I mine that for so long and I don't. that kind of, activity, I guess you would call it, you know, so I've been kind of thinking about how I, and I think that's where roller skating and things like that come into play. Like I'm always constantly needing to burn my energy cuz I'm mostly fire in my chart, so constantly trying to get it out. But, so...
Chantel: Amanda thank you.
Amanda Bellinger: You're so welcome
Chantel: I could just keep talking to you. You're …
Amanda Bellinger: I know thats how I feel that's why ..
Chantel: tell me, hold on, let me get some coffee. Tell me all the things. I love it.
Amanda Bellinger: Tell me all the things.. This was fun. I really enjoyed it. So I, this is actually my first LIVE ever [00:27:00] like with someone, collabing with someone. So thank you.
Chantel: I'm honored. Really I am. You're in.. can you tell us where you are?
Amanda Bellinger: I'm in Melbourne, Florida. Which is basically we call it the space coast. So we're on the same shoreline that all the, SpaceX launches go off from. So , mm-hmm
Chantel: have you, are you close enough to see them? Have you spotted a few?
Amanda Bellinger: Actually, there's really well, I'm turning around because I'm in downtown area, which is close to the river. So along the road here, you could go anywhere almost, and just kind of park it. People have been finding other people's secret spots here and there, but mostly there's a lot of land to kind of go around for us.
So, it's really, really cool. And I grew up here and my grandpa worked at the Kennedy space center. So when I was a kid, we would watch the old shuttle launches, the really loud ones. And now as an adult, I get to pass that on.
Chantel: [00:28:00] that's nice.
Amanda Bellinger: That's awesome.
Chantel: Thank you. I'm gonna, link your both pages. Is that good?
Amanda Bellinger: Awesome. , that's fine.
Chantel: Cool okay.
Amanda Bellinger: Whatever works.
Chantel: Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate you.
Amanda Bellinger: Thank you so much. Have a great one.
Chantel: You too. Thank you.
Amanda Bellinger: Bye
Chantel: Bye