Episode 9: ADHD isn’t a limitation, it’s an opportunity to see the world differently.
Known on social media as Ky, and the Vibe With Ky, Kyrus is a lighthouse not only in the world of marketing but also in the conversations around mental health.
Through a lens of grief and pain; 2018 was full of events in Kyrus’s life that would set him on a new path of physical and mental recovery. He decided he wanted to be here, and began to think about what that would entail to help himself through the darkness and how he could potentially help others. His personal experience with ADHD, severe depression, and generalized anxiety disorder has shaped his perspective and fueled his passion for mental health advocacy. As an actor and writer, Ky has always had a penchant for storytelling. With this narrative gift, he illuminates his own mental health journey, casting it as an inviting and approachable topic.
One of my favorite quotes from Kyrus is “It’s not about fitting into the world, it’s about making the world fit you.”
DETAILS
Kyrus's on IG @thevibewithky, and his website. #thevibewithky #neurospicy
Kyrus mentions: Somethings Company founded by Patrick Gilligan. A team of dedicated people helping the future of teens live better lives. In this episode, he shares Digital Marketing tips with us and serves as Executive Director of Paid Media for 1SEO Digital Agency.
Chantel mentions: Psychology Today online. This site could be beneficial for those looking for an online source that specializes in trauma and mental health disorders that may be related to trauma.
Transcripts
Chantel (Host): Welcome to Hair Stories with Chantel, where we explore hair stories of those behind the chair and beyond.
I'm your host, Carin Chantel. I'm speaking with Kyrus Keenan Westcott from the Vibe with k y. In 2022 Kyrus was diagnosed with severe ADHD, depression, and generalized anxiety disorder.
Kyrus speaks about his own struggles with mental health and what he is learning in hopes of inspiring others to open up about their mental health as well. This very humble and kindhearted creator embraced his life to the fullest while encouraging his social media followers to do the same. By day, you can find him working hard as executive director of paid media at One SEO Digital Marketing. By night, he's thinking of ways to share his message and his mental health journey with the world. Kyrus, I'm honored to be talking with you today. How was your morning?
Kyrus: Hi I'm so excited to be here. Honestly, thank you so much for having me. My morning was pretty good. I spent this entire weekend just relaxing, which is not something that I get to do too often. I'm usually traveling the country, doing whatever it is I do in my spare time.
So it's nice to be able to just sit back and relax this weekend.
Chantel (Host): So, you travel for
work.
Kyrus: I travel for fun. I made it a point in my life to travel as much as I can, you know, because there's so many different places around the world that I haven't been. And I'm like, you know what? There's nothing stopping me from traveling the world and traveling the country and, and just seeing things, and meeting people.
So I was like, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna make it happen.
Chantel (Host): And how are your fur babies?
Kyrus: Oh my God, they're amazing. When they're not being a ruckus, they're good. So they're sleeping right now. So they're being good right now, but you know, in the middle of the night, that's a different story.
Chantel (Host): Yeah, mine's giving himself a bath right behind the laptop. It's pretty cute. So I think we should start, I would love to know where you grew up.
Kyrus: Sure. Yeah. I'm a Jersey boy, so I grew up in Central Jersey, alot of people from the Northeast are gonna say that Central Jersey doesn't exist. So if you're listening right now and you're from a central Jersey, it does exist so yeah, I grew up in Central Jersey , and in Mercer County.
And I , went to school in Central Jersey as well at Ryder University, and I graduated in 2011. And then from there, you know, I pretty much stayed in the area. In 2018 I wanna say is when I moved down to the Philadelphia area where I've been ever since.
Chantel (Host): What was your first memory of getting your hair washed or styled, and was it your parents or grandparents who showed you how to care for your hair?
Kyrus: My dad, he would take me to the barber shop. We would go every every two weeks cuz my hair would grow so fast. So we would go every two weeks to the barber shop and he would take me to a barber shop in Trenton, New Jersey, my first memory is, Of, of going to the barbershop is legit sitting in the barber's chair, listening to all of the older people talking sports and talking about life and all of that.
And I remember sitting there wanting to contribute to the conversation, but being far too young to, say anything of, of significance. So I would just sit there and, my barber, I'll go to the same guy every time and he would give me a , a bald fade, you know, on the side. You know, with a hair on top, and sometimes I would splurge and get a little bushy ponytail in the back.
And I looked ridiculous, but I, at the time, I thought I looked really, really cool, but I would say that's my first memory, Trenton, New Jersey barbershop in the middle of the hood, getting my hair cut and, and listening to the adults talk.
Chantel (Host): So as a young adult did you continue going to the barber or did you start, doing your hair yourself?
Kyrus: No, I continued going to the barber, and I ended up switching to another barber because the barbershop that I went to ended up closing down the one that I went to as a kid. And so I ended up switching, you know, barbers, to a place, in the Philadelphia area and, it was great cuz I was a little bit older, so I was able to contribute to the conversations if I wanted to.
But this is around the time when I discovered that I'm an introvert and I don't want to talk necessarily sometimes. So, it took a couple visits for my barber to realize that I'm just gonna sit in the chair and, and let him cut my hair without really having a conversation. And that was an interesting moment in my life. I ended up, continuing to go to the barbershop and it wasn't until I got older, , that I started, you know, cutting my own hair.
Chantel (Host): That totally leads into my next question. In your early twenties and thirties, navigating adulthood. How was that for you?
Kyrus: It was interesting, It's funny because now I look back at it and the things that I was struggling with, the reasons why I was struggling with them, it's as clear as day, but at the time I had no idea, why I was struggling, I was just confused. I felt like I was lazy. I felt like I wasn't working hard enough. I felt like I wasn't in the right place in my life. And I look back at it now and I'm like, oh, well now I know why. But at the time, I would beat myself up all the time cuz I just felt like I should be further along in life and I was not where I wanted to be. I, I felt like I could be smarter and faster, stronger, you know, all of that.
And I just wasn't able to. Get myself there. So growing up, I would say early, mid twenties, I was beating myself up nonstop, nonstop every day. I tell people all the time, there's nothing that anybody else can say that I probably haven't said to myself.
It's really hard to hurt my feelings because I've hurt my feelings on my own. So often when in my, you know, early to mid twenties. And so it was a, it was a struggle for me back then. Cause I, I honestly was going into life blind.
Chantel (Host): Yeah, that's very relatable. I wanna ask, since we're speaking of that, what would you say to your younger self, if you could send a message back to that version of yourself?
Kyrus: It's really funny that you asked this because I. Just recorded a video recently for a, it is this organization called Somethings and Somethings is a fantastic organization that connects Gen Z, like older, gen Z with younger Gen Z and the older Gen Z can serve as mentors. I recorded a video to them. All about what I would say to my younger self if I had the opportunity to, for those of you that don't know me, like I add a little dose of, of levity, into the conversation. And, so it started off by saying, if I could talk to my younger self, I would say, Hey, don't take that girl off your toppy on MySpace, because she's gonna get mad and upset about that.
Don't download that song off of Napster. It's gonna give you, some very, awful viruses on your computer. I'm really dating myself right now with these references, but, I started off with that, but then I finished off by saying what I would say to my younger self is, number one, you're not alone, which is a very cliche to thing to say, but it's very true.
You're not alone, and I know that you are in your feelings right now, hiding within yourself. Not sure who to talk to. Or whether you should talk to somebody in the first place. Go talk to somebody. Get your feelings out there. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel the way that you feel. Your feelings are valid and there is help out there for you.
There are people out there that understand what you're going through and why, and they can help you. They can provide the tools that are needed that are necessary to get you to the next step in your life. That's what I would say to my younger self.
Chantel (Host): I love it. Since you mentioned that I am, I'm very curious if you have how am I gonna ask this? So, personally, I found. I needed a lot of specialty therapy and going to the therapy that my insurance would cover, wasn't gonna do it for me.
It did become a journey, to find somebody who specialized., when I needed help during the pandemic, I was going through school and was like, Ooh, I definitely need, somebody. Everybody was really busy. And then finding somebody who specialized in, those specific things was kind of discouraging.
Are there, online resources or people that you would recommend
Kyrus: That's a fantastic question. So, number one, what I would say to people is finding a therapist that you vibe with it's just like dating, right? So the first person that you date in your life, some people are lucky, and the first person that they date in their life end up being, the love of their life.
life.
And They end up, getting married and staying with them for the rest of their life. And to them, I say, awesome job. You, you lucked out. Because that's not how it always works, right? With therapy, it's the same thing. Sometimes your first therapist, you're not gonna vibe with it's not gonna be somebody that is perfect for you and that's okay.
So it's okay to, to switch therapists, you know, to switch, you know, people that, that can help you with that. And I, can think of many, people that have gone to multiple therapists before they found somebody that they vibed with somebody that, that truly understood. What they needed and, and how they can help them. So I would say that number one, number two, finding therapy is, is it is difficult, and a lot of people become discouraged because of the difficulty of finding, the correct mental health professional. And it's very easy to want to give up and I implore you to not. There are so many different resources out there for any kind of situation.
If it's an issue of it not being affordable, there are options out there for you. If it's an issue of availability, there are options out there for you. If it's an issue of, maybe it is a special type of thing that you're looking to speak with somebody about that only a specialist like in that area can really help you with, there are options out there for you.
I implore people to never give up. There are people, there are options out there for you. You just gotta keep looking and the times that you become discouraged are the times that you should really continue to push yourself to really, find the help that that you need, because the options are out there for everybody.
Chantel (Host): I absolutely agree., Psychology Today, had a little area for, Therapists and different types. And that was really neat because it lists, , what their specialties are and some of the stuff I hadn't heard of. So I was able to Google it and it gave me this broader understanding even into myself just by, researching what these people specialized in.
Then I had reached out to somebody at school, if they knew of anybody. Or any kind of help or assistance, and I did not find somebody that way. However, did, , get a in contact with somebody who was able to provide like a list of books and that was really cool. So I love always asking, just and reaching out.
You might not get exactly what you're looking for at that moment, but you might get other resources or a connection that you.
Kyrus: there. Even if you can't find what you're looking for on your own and the person that you're speaking with may not be able to provide what you're looking for, they might be able to provide. Resources or point you at least in the right direction to, to help you get where you need to go, right?
So like an example I always give is your primary care doctor, right? So when you go get your physical checkup, your primary care doctor more likely than not, is not a mental health professional, right?
Chantel (Host): Hmm.
Kyrus: they might know people that are mental health professionals, they might be able to point you in the right direction.
That's an endless network of connectivity. That can provide you resources that you need so it, it always helps to just ask to put yourself out there and say, I need help. Please point me in the right direction.
Chantel (Host): I'm very curious if there was three pivotal points, or experiences that got either got you through it or, the first things that come to mind that you feel have really played a role, hopefully positive roles in who you are right now versus, what it was like for you in your
twenties and thirties.
Navig navigating life, professionally and personally.
Kyrus: Absolutely. The, number one thing that pops out to me is the fall of 2018, which is probably the darkest moment moments of my life, and it's what really turned me into the direction of who you are speaking with today. In fall of 2018. , three things happened to me. Number one, the woman that I swore I was going to marry, I could have swore she was the one.
Our relationship ended pretty, pretty abruptly, right? Number two, a very close friend of mine, Ashton, passed away suddenly, and number three, I got. Hurt very bad physically. I ruptured my Achilles playing basketball. It was complete rupture, complete detachment. It was really bad. And for those of you unfamiliar, complete rupture of your Achilles, it's worse than a broken foot.
It takes forever to heal. So in the fall of 2018, I was heartbroken. I lost my close friend and I couldn't walk. And I was living in my apartment in South Jersey all by myself and. I was sitting, all I had was my feelings. That's all I had. I couldn't, go outside or, you know, go for a walk.
I couldn't, even navigate my own apartment easily. I just had to sit there in my feelings and it was at a point that I didn't want to be here anymore. I felt like I was a burden, cuz people would have to come pick me up and, take me around to various places around where I needed to go.
I felt like I wasn't a good person. My friend Ashton, who had reached out to me so often, um, I, , I wasn't there for him when I should have been. I was an awful boyfriend, and the reason for the breakup was,, really on me because I just was not a good boyfriend.
And so I was in a very, very dark spot. And it was at that point when I was at my lowest that I decided, okay, I can't do this anymore. I can't live in this darkness anymore. I have to turn my life around. I have to do something because if I don't, I'm not gonna be here anymore. I am not going to be here anymore.
And that thought in and of itself was the scariest thought I ever had in my life. So I decided that I was going to document my recovery, my mental recovery and my physical recovery from my injury. And I started a blog called Good Vibes with Kai. And that kept going and going and going. And the next thing you know, good vibes with Kai ended up turning into the vibe with Kai, which is what we know today. And if it wasn't for those dark moments, when. For a significant amount of time, more than I'd like to admit. I, I didn't wanna be here anymore. If, if there was anything that made me who I am today, it's, it, it was definitely that those, those moments, those dark moments when I couldn't walk, lost my friend, lost my girlfriend. I was, I, I was a burden. I didn't want to be here. And thank God I. Decided that I, I did want to be here. I did want to help people and, decided to use my story as a hopeful, jumping off point to help other people who may be feeling the same way. And that's who you're speaking with today. That was, what, five years ago?
And I'm still here, thankfully. And I, I, you know, try my hardest to help as many people as I can. Because I don't want anybody to feel the way that I felt back in 2018.
Chantel (Host): Hmm. Thank you for sharing that, I'm, I'm curious if, um,
being a executive director and doing digital marketing. Aspects for someone else five years ago when you started, you're like, I'm gonna put myself out here, you're like if you're doing it for somebody else and then doing it for yourself, and then it's, it's more personal and you really, um, it's so cool that you're coming from a place of like, well, if I can positively influence or help somebody else, then you know, , it's worth it.
Right. But did you find it really difficult and a little bumpy in the beginning to start doing that? The digital mark, it sounds so business-like, but it's, um,
Kyrus: No, it's true. I get what you're saying. Yeah, I did. And you know what's funny? Because all of this happened around the time that I got this job. In fact, my injury happened , I'll never forget this. It happened on day 91 of my employment at this job. And the reason I remember that is because, At this job, you have to wait 90 days before your health insurance kicks in. And so I got injured on day 91. I didn't even have my health insurance card yet, but thank God I had health insurance. It had just kicked in. And so I lucked out, I lucked out there, but, it was difficult because, you know, while I was going through this recovery in a, in a dark spot while still. Working and helping people with their marketing, their digital marketing. It was hard for me to really latch on and be empathetic of anybody else. Right. So there was a lot of businesses that, , that might have been struggling. And I'm like, well, okay, well you're struggling. Well, I can't walk right now.
You know, and it was, it was really hard for me to be an empath in that time, which was, which was another part of the darkness that I had. I couldn't, I just didn't, I, I really thought that I had it the worst out of anybody, and so it, I didn't feel like I was a great. Digital marketer at that time, but I ended up becoming, you know, a digital marketer that I'm proud to be now because of what I did in my personal life and how I changed my mindset and my perspective and my personal life.
That helped me in the professional aspect of things as well. And I still carry that to, to this day. And I'm, I'm thankful that I changed my perspective cuz it, it's helped a lot of clients, especially, during Covid, in 2020, businesses like I don't know how we're gonna survive through this.
And I had to help them with, the expertise that I have as a marketer, I had to find ways to help them to keep them in business and. I don't know if I would've gotten injured in 2020 instead of 2018. I don't know if I would've been able to help them the way that I did.
Mm-hmm.
Chantel (Host): Can you share two digital marketing pro tips with our listeners?
Kyrus: Sure. Yeah, I mean there's, I mean, it ultimately depends on, What the ultimate goal is, but I will, I will say this just as just general digital marketing tips. Number one, you gotta go in with a plan, and number two, you gotta be patient. Let the stats dictate your next step. There's a lot of people that think that they know digital marketing, they don't. It's fluid. It's off and on. Some things work, some things don't. There might be something that worked now that is not gonna work in the future. There might be something that worked for you in the past that may not necessarily work. Again, you gotta be flexible. You gotta be patient and you gotta, you gotta have a plan going into everything.
Cuz if you don't, if you're kind of winging it, if you're kind of just throwing stuff against the wall. You're not gonna see success in the way that you want, at least not in a consistent way. You're gonna be playing the short term game as opposed to the long term game. And that's a big mistake that I see a lot of businesses, specifically small businesses make.
They're playing the short term game. They're like, okay, let's, let's do what we can do today. No. Think about what you're gonna be doing over the next year. How is what you're doing today gonna help you next year? Think long term and you're gonna see a lot more success.
Chantel (Host): I love that. Thank you. , so you said you discovered, you were introverted in your twenties.
You're like, oh, I'm, this is it. I'm an introvert. And you read about it or somebody said, Hey, this is what being introverted is.
And you identified with that. Is that right?
Kyrus: Yeah. So, yeah, so I guess it's funny cuz I always have to be careful because hindsight is 2020, right? So like, , I look back at it now and I'm like, oh yeah, I was, I was an introvert, you know, I don't think at the time I understood what an introvert was. I just knew how I felt and I didn't know that it was necessarily introversion.
I just knew , I'm not gonna talk to you unless I have to talk to you., I'm not gonna, , put myself in any situation that made me feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed unless I have to, I'm gonna try to avoid it at all, at all costs, and. I look back at it now and I'm like, that is introversion.
But at the time, I had no idea that was introversion.
Chantel (Host): Do you feel in discovering, learning more about being an introvert, it helped you navigate yourself and get through those things that you needed to do for work or for school, you just found how to give to yourself, where you can honor your introverted self and also , step outside of yourself , for the higher mission, I guess.
Kyrus: Yeah, that's a great question. So yes, embracing my introversion and, knowing that being an introvert isn't a bad thing. Cause I used to beat myself up about it. Like once I. Discovered what introversion was and all of that. I honestly, I used to think that I'm an introvert, living in an extroverted world, you know, and that I'm never gonna get far in life because I'm just too much of an introvert.
I don't wanna put myself out there, in all of that. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. And I used to view it as a bad thing. And the time that I really started to embrace my introversion, which I would say honestly is fairly recently, I knew that I could use that to my advantage and I could conserve my energy and apply it in places that could really push my life forward.
For example, a lot of people are like, there's no way you can be an introvert. You make videos and talk to people. And I'm like, well, introverts do talk to people. You know, we do communicate. We just, we're just very picky and choosy about how. We spend that energy having those conversations.
We don't necessarily like to small talk, you know, if we're gonna talk, we're gonna have a deep, intelligent conversation. Once an introvert is comfortable in the situation, we don't shut up. And a lot of people also are like, oh, you can't be an introvert, you're not shy. And I'm like, well, introversion doesn't mean shy.
There are shy extroverts. There's so much behind it, and once I really fully started to understand what introversion was and where I fell within the introversion spectrum, I was like, okay, I can use this to my advantage and I can push my life forward because of it.
Chantel (Host): Do you feel like talking about, where you are and, and what you've been diagnosed with, regarding your mental health has helped, or can help anybody, who chooses to talk about it? Is like how we move through the stigma around
Kyrus: Yeah. Yeah.
Chantel (Host): in that embracing. So if, if someone's listening and they're like,
you know, the boomers who feel like, oh yeah, you know, even saying the word sad or depressed was like, no, that's a, we we're not that. We can't be that. You know? And I feel the more, they're hearing conversations about , it's not a bad thing, you know? And in that embracing, we have the ability to learn, to navigate ourselves better.
And, and how? Yeah, I, I don't,
Kyrus: No, no. I know what you mean though.
Chantel (Host): yeah.
Kyrus: I I know what you mean. You know, it's, it's really funny because I, I'll often see TIk Tok's and Instagram reels and YouTube videos where it's all this ADHD stuff, it didn't exist when I was a kid. All this depression, you know, it didn't exist.
And I'm like, well, how could you say that? Like, it definitely did. You know, we're just very much talking about it now, like talking about it openly because your generation was just afraid to or didn't understand it. And now we understand why we are the way that we are and the things that are affecting us.
Even when I was younger, even, even not just with baby boomers, but like, I'm an older millennial, right? So even growing up in the nineties, A lot of things that I know can be attributed now to adhd. It was used to be attributed to, you know, weakness. You know, it used to be attributed to being lazy, you know, but come to find out there is a chemical imbalance in my brain that's causing a lot of this, and that's not new.
It didn't, it wasn't just invented in the year 2000 like this. These are things that have been around for a while. We're just starting to fully understand its effects on us and our bodies and the situations that we find ourselves in. All of this is still fairly new to me cuz like I talked about 2018, but I talk about it once again.
Hindsight's 2020. I wasn't diagnosed with everything I'm diagnosed with until 2022. We're recording this in 2023. , I was diagnosed as, as a 34 year old, as a 35 year old. Like this is all very new to me. And when I was diagnosed, I was diagnosed with , severe adhd, generalized anxiety disorder and severe depression.
And back in the day when I used to hear terms like depression, I used to think of people like in straight jackets. You know, like that's how, that's how ignorant I was to, to all of this. None of the people that I grew up, admiring talked about mental health. I grew up, listening to, hip hop artists and athletes and my father and my family. nobody was talking about mental health the way that we are today.
So it's a beautiful thing to have these conversations and that's why I love using my platform to talk about it, because I'm hoping that people can listen to it and be like, wait. What Kai is going through right now, I know that feeling, I, I've gone through that. Maybe I should talk to a mental health professional and get this looked at because, you know, this is something that I'm personally going through and that's the beauty of the world that we live in today.
It's really easy to think that social media is just going to be the end of the world when really, I think, honestly, The social media digital world that we live in today, it's highlighting some really beautiful things and we're having really beautiful conversations. If it wasn't for social media, you and I would've never met.
You know, like these, these are really important conversations that we're having, and it's making the world smaller, and we're sharing a lot more information, and we're making ourselves smarter, and that's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Chantel (Host): Yeah, so you've definitely brought a smile to my face, as I'm sure many people can say. And that's really nice and refreshing. I feel if you're listening and you're going on social media and it's bumming you out, there's definitely a way to. Search different things and start following people who, , bring a smile to your face and help you feel less alone in the world.
Um, so to,
Kyrus: I appreciate that. That's very, that's very kind of you. Thank you.
Chantel (Host): let's see. Oh, I wanted to know what is neurodiversity to you? When you hear that word, Or someone may be listening and they're like, okay, what's neuro divergent neurodiversity? What does this mean? I've never heard this word that the people are using.
Kyrus: That's, that's a fantastic question. I think that obviously you have the scientific answers , to all of that, but I'll, I'll tell you what it means to me. It means that we all have something within us that makes us special, that makes us different, that makes us unique. And those quirks that you, those unique features is what makes us beautiful.
It makes is what makes you beautiful as a person, and it's okay to embrace that. It's okay to embrace, that thing that makes you different than somebody else. And, a lot of people are afraid to be diverse. You know, they, they're afraid to embrace the thing that is within them, and they view it as a bad thing, or they try to mask it, or they try to hide it.
I know that from personal experience and when I, so when I hear neurodiversity, I just see a beautiful array of mental health support. Mental health quirks, mental health, you know, situations that we all find ourselves in are trying to manage and it's a beautiful thing. So when I hear neurodiversity, that's what I think of.
Chantel (Host): I love it. And I, I love, neuro spicy. And would l if you can share how that, came about, if that's a hashtag that those who can relate to you should be using, when thinking of you. Yeah.
Kyrus: Yeah , I, it's funny because I would often see the word neuro divergent and , once again, scientifically like, it's a great word. It's not something to shy away from. But I wanted to find a way to make people smile because of it, to add a little sense of levity to it. So I started saying neuro spicy, you know, cuz we're just, we're just so unique and, and special and fun that, you know, we add a little bit of spice, our neuro divergent selves are adding a little spice to the world. Like the people that are embracing this. We add a little kick to the world that I think the world needs.
So I'm like, you know what? Neuro spicy, we're gonna go with that right now.
Chantel (Host): Is that, a hashtag that we can use.
Kyrus: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I try to use it pretty much all of my posts. , neuro spicy.
Chantel (Host): I know sometimes people have a hashtag and they're like, don't use my hashtag. You're such a strong force that they know, it's also bringing in that awareness. So if somebody were to, , look up the hashtag, you'd get a lot of content and.
A community, right.
Kyrus: that's the, yeah, that's the whole point of a, of a hashtag, is that when you click on that hashtag, you'll see content that's based around that hashtag and the more content that's within that hashtag from all over the world, the better. Cuz you're going to see. That it's not just a you thing, it's not just a regional thing.
It's not just a state thing. It's not just a country thing. It's a worldwide thing that we all go through. It doesn't matter what language you speak, it doesn't matter where you're from, how old you are. We all are part of this community and it's so beautiful to be a part of that and to click on a hashtag like that and to just see.
People and situations and content from all over the world, and you're like, man, I truly, I'm truly not the only one. That's amazing.
Chantel (Host): Yeah., you had told me that you were working, you were doing a play,
and I wanna ask what life is like for you today, for those getting to know you. I'm getting to know you. I'm asking because you are introverted and I feel it's really inspiring for people to be like, oh, I'm this, but I can also, be a part of my hobbies and do things with people and hear somebody who does, who has to, you know, who does a lot of different things.
Yeah.
Kyrus: yeah, yeah. So I've always been a theater kid, I became a theater kid, in middle school, and I've been a theater kid ever since. I've done, Lord knows how many shows I've been both. On stage and off stage. And, and most recently I directed two musicals. In February of this year, I directed the Color Purple Musical, which they actually are turning into a, a film, an adaptation of the musical that opens up on Christmas Day this year.
And I, directed, in the Heights, a musical, which was a movie film that they did a couple years ago. And it premiered on Broadway. , many years ago. And so those were the, I, I directed both of those productions. I've been in lord knows how many shows as well, and I always tell people, you'd be surprised how many introverted performers there are out there.
And then it's not hard for me an introvert to be a theater kid or to be on stage because when you're on stage, you're not, you, you're, playing a character. It's scripted. You don't have to rely on anything other than the words on the music or the choreography that you're given.
And you just go up there and you perform and you get to , wear a theoretical mask in front of people. And that's when I go back to, you know, introversion doesn't mean shy. Like I am not a shy person in the slightest. I just reserve my energy for things that matter to me.
And so, It's easy for me to be a theater kid and to perform. I love that world because it's just an escape from reality for a bit. And introverts can tell you, introverts live in our head, , and when we live in our head, we have these beautiful things happening. And to see, those beautiful things happening real life to, actually live it, it's a really cool feeling.
So, so yeah, I love being a theater kid. I always have been. I always will be.
when I came across your, your page, your Instagram, I think I had seen something about your saying, I'm gonna be on this show. This is something in my future for me. And it was kind of playful and, throwing a goal out there. I dunno if it was Jimmy Fallon
Kyrus: Oh, it was, Steven Colbert.
Chantel (Host): okay.
And I remember when I saw that, I was like, yeah, that's, that's I know for everybody it's a little bit different what their, aspirations are. And it doesn't have to be a show, but it is.
, Sometimes just getting on that show, being able to reach more people with your mission could be the thing that's exciting or a goal for you. And not that that's a goal for you, but when you threw it out there like that, I was like, yes, that's gonna be a thing for you. This person's gonna reach more people than he is already reaching.
And intuitively, when I pick up something that I can't explain. , it usually ends up happening for people, and myself, even if it's something that comes to my mind, I'm like, that's crazy. If I said that out loud to somebody, they would be like, that's, you're really ambitious. Come on, how are you gonna do that?
You know? , and then I'm like, but it's, it feels like it's for me or for somebody. So I'm bringing this up because I wanted to ask, where do you see yourself in two years, with your platform?
Kyrus: That's the golden question. It's the, it's the golden question. In regards to what you were talking about before, in regards to Stephen Colbert, I'm a huge fan of Stephen Colbert. I always have been, ever since his, his days on Comedy Central and even before that, during sketch comedy. To see his rise. Has been really inspirational for me because I'm like, man, this, this guy who started out as a nobody that just really, honestly just wanted to make people laugh and he is so smart and funny and man, that guy is doing it. This guy, is living his dream and I was walking, I took my mom to New York cuz she had never been to see a Broadway show and stuff like that.
So I took her to New York and. We were walking by that Sullivan Theater where he, where he films this show, and I was like, man , one day I'm gonna be a guest on this show. I'm gonna save this picture forever. And I'm gonna be a guest on his show and I'm gonna show him that in early 20 and 23.
I stood outside of your theater and I said, one day I'm gonna be a guest on your show. And here I am, I made it happen and, that in and of itself has been , a big goal and in two years from now, it's, it's funny cuz I don't know necessarily what success means outside of me just helping as many people as I can. If I get one message, that says you helped me today, or, you pointed me in a direction that. , save my life or some, it could be one person. It makes all of this worth it, all of the work that goes into it, it makes all of it worth it. All of the, late nights, writing a blog or all the early mornings, recording a podcast or making countless amounts of content on TikTok and countless amounts on Instagram and Facebook, and YouTube.
All of these hours that I put into it. All it takes is for one person to say, Hey, you helped me, and it makes all of this worth it. So , where I am in two years, if I can continue to have at least one person reach out and say, Hey, thanks. That's where I want to be, in life. That's, that's fulfilling for me.
That's fulfilling my cup. Would it be cool if I got to do that while on Stephen Colbert? Then yeah. You know, the more people I can reach out to, the better. So I mean, growing my platform in a way that I can reach more people, that would be amazing.
Chantel (Host): One of my favorite quotes, from you is "ADHD isn't a limitation. It is an opportunity to see the world differently."
Kyrus: Mm-hmm.
Chantel (Host): I love that, so much because it's this perception shift. Can you speak on that a little bit?
Kyrus: Yeah. I was speaking with a, a mental health coach on, I was interviewing them and talking with them. I was saying yeah, I have to battle my ADHD every day. It's always a battle, always a battle. And they stopped me and they said, try to not view it as a battle. Try to view it as a partnership instead. And just that in and of itself changed my perspective about adhd. And I was like, oh my gosh, wait, why am I viewing it as a battle? A battle kind of has like this negative connotation to it, and it's not a battle. This is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. So it's like, is it a battle or should I learn how to manage it?
It's like, Working with, a, a coworker that every day makes tuna fish in the microwave. Like, come on, dude. nobody wants to smell this, but they're a good worker and they help you, you know? So you kind of have to just manage, how you view this coworker. It's the same thing and, does my ADHD get really annoying sometimes? Yes, absolutely. But if I change my perspective and stop viewing it as a thing that's limiting me and view it as a some, as something that propels me forward, then I feel better and I'm more productive and I'm able to help more people. So when I say that quote, it's honestly out of, comes from a point of.
When I felt I was limiting myself by viewing it in such a negative connotation. I'm like, let me, let me change my perspective and I'll say that about literally anything in life, not just adhd, anything. When you're able to change your perspective, you can change even the most awful thing.
It's a, something that can benefit you. It's hard, it's easier said than done. But when you're able to shift perspectives, sometimes it can take you a lot farther than you realize.
Chantel (Host): Mm. I hope people can apply that to their bodies as well as their minds.
Kyrus: Yes, absolutely.
Chantel (Host): That we can be in partnership with our bodies and it's, it's not a, we're not having a dual.
Kyrus: Yes. Yeah.
Chantel (Host): I love it. Thank you so much for your time today. I, I don't know if there was anything you wanted, to share off the top of your head. , sometimes I'm driving and I, I get these random phrases like, I just want to go online and share I'm just driving, but I'm having this random thought and it's so funny to me I hope you find this funny too.
is there anything random that you'd like to share?
Kyrus: I always love to tell people to not worry about other people,
Hmm. Yeah.
Which is really hard to do because I'm a people pleaser, right? So I'm always worried about, how other people are are feeling and how they're doing. But if you give yourself the same energy that you give other people when you're trying to help them, Imagine how far along you would be.
Imagine how much further you can push yourself to grow and to learn. If you gave yourself the same energy that you give other people, you can't control anybody else. People are gonna do what they're gonna do. Your boss is gonna do what they want to do. Your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, brother, sister, mom, dad, whatever it may be, they're all going to do them.
Let them, let them do them. While you do you and lead your life with kindness to yourself and to other people, and you're gonna go a lot further than you would ever imagine.
Chantel (Host): Thank you so much.
Kyrus: Yeah,
absolutely. Thank you so much for having me.
Chantel (Host): I would love to, tell our listeners that Kai and I are both, neuro spicy. We are neuro divergent, and, please check out the vibe with ky. Please. , please reach out. Know that you are not alone and. I appreciate this conversation so, so much.
it's been a blessing and thank you so much.
Kyrus: Oh my gosh. Thank you. I I really do appreciate it, honestly. Thank you.